I was having a conversation with my mother recently, she is often the voice of wisdom in my life and so whilst at times, I may not like to listen, experience has taught me to hear what she is saying. Which in this case was something along the lines of “Francesca, in the same way you show up for other people in your life, you need to show up for yourself too!” I really think this principle can apply across all areas of our life, and so this is the focus for this month’s blog. So as I sit in my garden, listening to a playlist and
enjoy the rare rays of sunshine we don’t always have here in the UK, these are my reflections on what it means to show up for ourselves.
Showing up for ourselves first means being committed to ourselves. Commitment can be explained as the state of being dedicated to a cause, activity, place, or person. It goes beyond waiting for the feelings to show up, instead, it is a conscious and very deliberate decision, followed up by action. When you are dedicated or committed to yourself you do what you say. It can be as simple as that. The usual excuses for not doing something are no longer given the opportunity to surface, because come rain, sun, wind or hail, figuratively speaking, you stick with what you said you were going to do, change or be, for yourself.
In reality, we can all show up and be committed now and again, but when we add consistently to the mix, we can understand better, the need for us to be constant, dependable, and unwavering. Consistency may not always mean doing something daily, but it is important to develop a regular rhythm and long-term routine that benefits and impacts you positively. Some of us are so extreme, and in particular every new year we see so many people pledge to go to the gym, for example, every day; drink 2.5 litres of water, and cut out carbs. Whilst this may last for a few weeks, it very rarely is able to be sustained for months. It is often a much better option to plan to consistently exercise 3 or 4 times a week, drink some water daily and reduce carbs. If these habits were practiced consistently, the results would be evident. So show up for yourself consistently, which is going to look different for everyone.
Quick question, how good are you at what you do, or maybe a particular skill or ability? How often do you pause and reflect on how good you are at something? Now this question is not meant to cause an overinflated ego, but being self-confident is another way you can show up for yourself. Being confident with who you are and where you are in your journey is really healthy for your well-being. Confident individuals are more likely to constructively critique themselves rather than criticise. One of the ways we can increase in confidence is simply reflecting on who we are and where we are coming from. Have you any idea how many things you have already overcome? It should make you proud of you, and further strengthen your self-confidence.
Closely linked with confidence is you recognising your capabilities. There is a saying I heard that I’ll paraphrase; “there are people less qualified, able and experienced than you, doing more than you” It makes me think if only you realised just how incredibly capable you were, you may take more risks, say yes to the right things more often and therefore show up for yourself more often. You are capable, own it!
Lastly and really importantly, you can show up yourself by being courageous. As adults, we can often
underestimate the impact of being brave, gutsy, and determined when we make decisions about ourselves. Whether that is trying something new for the first time, going against the grain of “normal” or engaging in certain conversations. Being courageous is an important way of being that can help you show up for yourself.
Remember when you show up for yourself, you may unknowingly be giving others the permission to show up for themselves too. If this has been helpful you are welcome to utilise this affirmation: “I am confident, capable, and courageous and I choose to commit to myself consistently”
Keep showing up for you
Francesca